Where do I begin? What do I share? What story is there to help others struggling with the same issues? I guess I will go where God leads me. I have been through my fair share of struggles, but I always look at the previous struggle and would say “God did not drop me on my head then, so he won’t now”. As so many years have gone by, I still use that phrase because it is true. God has never dropped me on my head. He has always been there for me. There were times when I felt so alone and far from him. It was then that I reminded myself that he has not moved. I had. Sometimes when I am going through thick darkness and straining my eyes to see just a glimmer of hope; a glimmer of light, I can become pretty despondent. Even to God. It is then that I realize I have let Satan push me into a corner and I feel trapped and helpless. Someone once told me that I am NOT the ONE who has to feel defenseless; it is Satan. She told me that I need to have my shield of faithfulness and the sword of the spirit, and I have to PUSH Satan into a corner. I am on the OFFENSIVE!!!! With that visual in my head, I started doing this. I started telling Satan to leave me alone. I am a child of God. I told him to leave my house and my family and my health and my finances alone. I did it quite often when I was in that dark place and within a couple days I did see the light. All my problems were not fixed, but I did see a light to help me out of that dark place. Occasionally, I will still do this when necessary. My daughters were going through things regarding their faith or, I should say, lack of it. Now, everyone knows, don’t mess with a mama’s kids. You are truly dealing with a grizzly bear then. So, I was in the kitchen praying and I had just taken a pizza out of the oven and I held that pizza cutter up like it was God’s two edged sword, and I started going off on Satan about leaving my kids alone. I was in the middle of my rant when my husband, Mark, walked in and stayed for a couple seconds and then left. I continued my rant and rave and then cut the pizza and brought some in to Mark, I explained what I had been doing and he had no questions. He knows me. God knows me so well that a pizza cutter became the sword of the spirit. God’s Word never comes back empty. He took my Words and my prayers and He reminded me that I am not alone in this “chaos” we call life. He also reminds me that I am His just the way I am – with all my quirks, brokenness, and even a pizza cutter.
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